Posted by: 지인 | 29 February 2008

Jurassic bee

Olde-tyme blog readers, you KNOW about the gigantoid monstrosities that prowl my neck of the woods. I won’t utter the archfiend’s name, out of deep, unreasonable fear of conjuring its presence in my home once more, but you know.

And I mean, besides It, I would challenge anyone to face down the T-Rex-sized cockroaches or the footlong submarine-sandwich-sized armored centipedes without warming your pants.

Mercy, Mother Nature! I mean, really.

But as if that’s not enough, for the past several days, I have been terrorized by a REALLY BIG BEE that helicopters outside the front door, buzzing its menacing bee warcry, and I swear, it is staring at me. I didn’t do anything to it, honest. Yet it wants to feast on my flesh. I am certain of it.

I cannot stress how HUGE it is. It is so enormous, I think it knows how to use the Internet.

I mean, OK, it’s the size of a small bird. At first I thought maybe it was a small bird — perhaps a hummingbird — but then I remembered that there are no hummingbirds in Hawai’i, although we do have these crazy nectar-sucking moths that a lot of people mistake for hummingbirds until Google tells them otherwise. (Not that I would know.)

But this is no moth. This is a be-winged, bedeviling, bee-murderer. I wait until it leaves to go drink its Gatorade and digest a kitten for lunch before I dash out of the house to my car or to get the mail or whatever.

Right now it is circling a path outside of the lanai door, assessing the thickness and strength of the screen, and making a shopping list for tools and instruments of torture. If you don’t hear from me within the next week, you may assume the worst.

Advertisements

Responses

  1. LOL You’re too funny. I have seen the moths that kind of look like hummingbirds from a distance until I got up close. I don’t think I’ve ever come across monstrous bees, though. I’d be curious. For some reason, bees don’t scare me. If somehow that bee wen maki, you have to take a picture of it so I can see. ^^

  2. Yeah, I was trying to devise a way to take a picture of it, but as bees do, it’s been flying around the whole time. I’ve never seen it land on anything.

    Speaking of critters, yesterday morning I found a small size centipede in the house. Although “small” is relative, I guess. It was still a good 4-5 inches long. It was almost dead by the time I found it, though, so I don’t know what it’s story is. Maybe the kitties pummeled it overnight. At least they didn’t bring it into the bedroom as a gift.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Categories

%d bloggers like this: