Comments on: Communication breakdown

By: Mama Nabi

Mama Nabi — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 18:18:29 +0000

When I saw that they had named her Jade, I had already made a certain judgments about them… perhaps unfair but then one only has to read about the rest. I personally don’t care about any real or feigned woes that this couple supposedly endured at the hands of this ‘emotional misfit’ as they continue to portray Jade. There’re are obvious flags – the citizenship issue (oh come on, it’s not like they were from bumfuck nowhere and had no idea how immigration works!), the different superficial reasons they keep coming up with… dude, I had eating issues when I was a kid.
This may not be the most mature comment you’ll be getting on this subject: I believe they should both be publically flogged.
On one hand, this may offer Jade a second chance to find a better home. On the other, I have to wonder about how much damage they’ve already caused…. Just imagining how alone she must feel, and must have felt in their fucked up household, I’m shedding some angry/sad tears.
Fuckheads – and this is the quality of ‘diplomats’ The Netherlands has to offer? (See? Now I’m getting pissed off at the whole nation of Holland!)

By: sume

sume — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 13:31:10 +0000

I just did a post trying to break it down, but it still makes no sense to me.

I could understand the attachment issues, but “culture shock?” Then there’s that thing about the babysitter and the statement by Fernando Cheung Chiu-hung that’s she’s fine now? Huh?

By: JR

JR — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 03:05:07 +0000

Yeah, I second and third all the responses here. I had to post about it too, I was so angry.

By: Ji In

Ji In — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 03:02:54 +0000

I think I heard about that movie this past summer from another adoptee while in Korea. (Might have been during Tobias’ & Jane’s presentation at the Gathering. Hmm.)

I agree; I have so many mixed feelings about this case. At first I was simply outraged and so, so sad for this girl.

Wait. I guess I’m still outraged, and so, so sad for this girl. But for more complex reasons, I suppose.

I guess the part that still gets me is the overall sentiment: Procure a child to fulfill your fantasies and desires, and when things don’t go as planned, hand her off to social services with a tear on your hankie. And the way that that guy is painting himself and his wife & sons as the ones bearing the true suffering.

One would almost wonder if the fact that they “overlooked” securing Dutch citizenship for her doesn’t point to an underlying doubt that they’d keep her around in the first place.

By: Space Nakji

Space Nakji — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 02:46:27 +0000

That’s funny – I was reminded of a Korean horror movie called Acacia, about an “adoption gone (spookily) wrong.”

It’s such an infuriating case all around. On the one hand, hooray that she got away from such obviously unfit parents, but boo that it had to happen in such a horrible way for her. Also, at the same time that it echoes the fears around adoption (that the child will be unassimilable), it also lifts the veil on some of the rosier myths (that adoptive parents are always the charitable actors and children are blank emotional slates). I wonder what they would have done if one of their “biological children” were autistic (for example).

By: Ji In

Ji In — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 23:59:07 +0000

Totally. I kept thinking of “The Bad Seed” as I’ve been reading these articles. Jade, the problem child. Jade, the angry adoptee. *sigh* (Although the girl in “The Bad Seed” wasn’t an adoptee, just inherently evil.)

By: sarahkim

sarahkim — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 23:54:23 +0000

You know what this sort of reminds me of? The "inherently evil" adopted child in the American re-make of The Ring. Sorry, I don't have any deep analysis here, just a pop-culture reference. (I usually hate those, esp., ahem, references to The Joy Luck Club in regards to reunions with birth siblings.)